This day went by rather quickly. It was all the things we did I’m sure.

It started with Rowan’s flu shot at 9:45, so it was getting out the door earlier than normal. We came back home & I actually got breakfast, so that was nice.

We went to the Beaverton Library Stay & Play, which we don’t normally do on Tuesdays because we’re normally hanging out with Charlotte & Ezra, but they are in California for the week. I would rather have hung out with them. Rowan was being very grabby for his favorite toys & no one seemed very cooperative or interactive, which is sad. You can really only do that with practice, but if no one is willing to practice….?

Next it was picking up Aaron in Portland for lunch at Famous Dave’s BBQ out by IKEA. We had some things we wanted to pick up there & I figured the middle of the day would be best traffic wise & for crowds. We spend a long time there & I was cranky. We didn’t leave until at least 2:30. Rowan seemed fine, but I needed a nap.

Annoyingly when I got home & was doing some quick research about leg plates for attaching legs to furniture I found some legs I liked better than the ones we spent so much time to find at IKEA. I had previously checked Amazon & the Home Depot & everything. I figure I need a 7″ leg to get the restaurant bench up to the height of our bar height table because I want it in the dining room now. I bought 7″ legs from IKEA, but they are tapered, round leg in natural oak color, that’s what they had, that was near enough & I was frustrated. The ones on Amazon are tapered, square & a dark brown, which will go much better with all the furniture we already have. The table, the peacock chairs, the buffet. The amazon legs are either 5″, 6″ or 8″ of course. I went for the 6″ & then got the 5″ for the long white IKEA couch we have. I still prefer that couch to any other & it has the basic silver legs that are 4 & 3/8″. Having the couch slightly taller would be nice I think.

At home I fed Rowan & put him to bed at 3:50ish & I figured he’d have like an hour to sleep & then I’d have to wake him up, so he would sleep tonight. I set my alarm for 5:10PM & when it went off I pretty much said, “Oh Haytch NO!” & went back to sleep until 6. I’m still recovering from my cold & the whole front of my face felt super stuffy all day. We had two hours of sleep & I think we were both happier.

Aaron was home shortly after that & it was hilarious amounts of Christmas music as he attempted to cheer me up. It’s overwhelming to come up with dinner, when all I feel is the pressure to eat a certain way, which is both time consuming & probably involves items I don’t have. We really needed to go grocery shopping, we were at the end of everything. He made us crepes & they were delicious.

I’m frustrated that my clothes don’t fit so well anymore & I’ve got these little bulges everywhere now. I can’t get myself to start eating differently & I can’t. I want to simply “accept” myself & I can’t. We started the Keto stuff a year ago & look where we are, still unacceptable. I can’t do Whole30 stuff because I really cannot give up milk anymore & then that leads into the “might as well” have cheese & then the “today was rough” have some chocolate chips & peanuts. I don’t have time to go to the gym. Over the past year it has taken 6+ encounters with THPRD staff to get my account straightened out & login set up online. 6+ & a year! I want to pay them money for classes, after already paying taxes for this parks system to work. Figure it out! Anyway that is literally just set up as of yesterday & I with no time for anything more than seeing that the login works. I don’t have time to search for classes for myself or Rowan, let alone pay for them & then attend. I am trying so hard to get to the point of having the premium membership where I get up to 2 hours of childcare at Conestoga Rec center. Now I have to work up to Rowan being ok to be without me or Aaron for more than 5 minutes. Ok I really can’t rant about this anymore.

Food, eating, making food, eating it, cleaning up after it all stresses me out. Picking out clothes from my closet, or at the store, putting them on, putting them away stresses me out. There are these impossible expectations I have in my head & there are times they overwhelm me.

At 9 I went over to Charlotte, Ofir & Ezra’s place to check on their kitties Oreo & Lucy. I didn’t expect to see Lucy, but she came down & was actually very friendly. Not like Oreo friendly, but I got to pet her & she meowed. Oreo almost immediately pounced on me when I came in the door & started purring when I started petting. It was a delightful stress relief to pet those kitties & have them so happy to see me. I really do enjoy other people’s pets heaps.

After that I went to the grocery store even though I was in my pj pants & it wasn’t my intention when I left the house. It had to be done & I’m the one who can do it quickest. It took forever. We needed a lot of things & I couldn’t find some things. I was done just before they closed for the night, which is almost always how I do the shopping nowadays.

Getting home it’s putting away groceries (with Aaron) & then tidying up the books & toys because honestly if I wake up to a disaster it makes the whole day feel like crack from the beginning. Turns out there was still laundry in the dryer & a couple of things that were wet & didn’t get hung up, so I had to rewash those & I might as well throw in the few things we’ve dirties in the past day.

As of now it is 12:41 & I am trying to do a “quick” post as evidenced by the title. This is how life goes.

Day 26

Diary, Journal

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